As someone who suffers from Major Depression and General Anxiety, I know well how difficult controlling emotions are. Emotions are powerful. You feel them but they’re hard to control because they’re inside of you. Here’s a question I ask myself regularly: Why do you want to control your emotions?
Emotions exist inside of you for a reason. Even the ones that feel over dramatic. Those ones are typically a trauma response. For example, if you’re in love with someone and they take a bit too long to text you back. The normal response would be to be patient and not over think it. However, for someone who’d been cheated on in the past, or someone who has abandonment issues, this can feel like the end of the world. I’m someone with abandonment issues and I have to regularly remind myself that their life doesn’t revolve around me. I need to be patient. I need to stop trying so hard to read between the lines when there’s nothing there and I need to take things as they are.
That doesn’t mean those emotions need to be bottled up and pushed away. If you have trauma in your past and are susceptible to these over reactive emotions in response to little things, I recommend discussing this with the important people in your life so that they know where your emotions are coming from. Instead of acting on emotions, just feel them. Don’t make them stronger, but don’t push them away. Just sit with them. Meditate on them. Meditation is a difficult practice to get in to, especially for someone who’s thoughts are constantly racing, but it really is an incredible tool to utilize. There are many guided meditations on YouTube as well as tons of apps for guided meditation. If you don’t want a voice in your ear while you meditate, Google meditation frequencies and things to help you stay focused.
Why sit with your emotions? It’s important to remember that emotions are temporary. They come and go. Allow them to exist. Pushing them back only makes them come back stronger. What is the worst thing that can happen if you sit with your intense sadness or anxiety or anger? Don’t act on these emotions, or you’ll typically dig yourself into a hole. Sit and don’t question the emotions. Don’t ruminate on them. Just feel them. Describe to yourself what it feels like in your chest. Is your anger red hot like a fire? Is your sadness dark and cold? Does your anxiety make you feel like there are bees buzzing in your chest? Notice them. Imagine the emotion spreading from your chest to all parts of your body. The emotion will spread over you and it will become more and more intense and eventually peak. As you come down from the emotion, you might learn something about yourself.
This is something that’ll take practice. It’s not something that will be easy to master but when you do, you will be in control of your emotions, rather than allowing them to control you. There are no good or bad emotions. They are simply emotions. Just as happiness comes and goes, so does sadness or anger.
Don’t allow your ego to get in the way of relationships. Assuming everything is a slight towards you will only ruin things. I’ve been guilty of doing this. Many times, actually. But it’s something to work out of.
I’m thinking about doing spooky Friday blogs. Let me know if that’s something of interest.